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    Just kidding, it would still wait till the next night. “Talk to me.”Sure you ask your wife to talk dirty to you, but do you ask her to talk not dirty to you?

    You know, about her thoughts, feelings, dreams, hopes, even her day at work for that matter?

    “I thought about you all day.”If you haven’t had sex in two weeks and your wife’s mom is taking the kids overnight, you’ll certainly tell her you’ve been anticipating your alone time all day.

    But what about sharing your other thoughts about her?

    Guys, has your wife stopped looking at you like she loves you and more with that patented blend of boredom and revulsion that she uses when she scrubs the toilet?

    Never fear, here are five no-fail phrases that will get your wife back in the mood for sex even on nights that her favorite reality show is on.

    My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. “Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favor,” I responded. A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack.

    “They can’t wait to hear about our meeting.” We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. “It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,” she said. Much more so than I could have imagined,” I answered. Another similar glurge piece concludes with the literary device of having the sympathetic figure who died leave a special gift for the other character in the story, with said item teaching a lesson in love.Sadly, though, this self-sacrifice ends in the bedroom.How about “I’ll stay up all night to resolve this issue we’ve been arguing about?“I’ve been very bad.”No sexy scenario about you and your domineering AP English teacher here, at least not till later.This is a time when you genuinely apologize for being a jerk at some earlier point in your relationship.

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