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    Here is where couples can begin to argue about who is more hurt, who is too sensitive, arguments that can seem endless or destructive. Often by this time in the relationship real-life experiences become part of the mix and challenge.Here Kara loses her job or Sam's grandmother dies and he is devastated, or Chris has a medical crisis.They don't have to follow what everyone else says and prefers.

    What this all translates into for couples is the natural experience that things are settling or a winding down.

    Physical distance keeps the potential emotional conflict at bay: You bite your tongue and by the time the next weekend rolls around your irritation has receded.

    If the chemistry isn't there, there isn't much to do except perhaps give it one more try and see if something clicks.

    Running along this is finding in each other what you most need – someone who listens or someone who seems decisive; someone who is gentle or someone who is strong and confident. One obvious danger or downside is that you never get beyond one or two dates.

    And the physical chemistry is about…well, literally chemistry, in this case oxytocin that fuels the sexual attraction and attractiveness, the obsessing about the other, the feelings of falling in love. You find you have a lot in common but her personality reminds you too much of your ex.

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